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Research / Re: Types of harmless pranks
« Last post by Barbara Etlin on Today at 09:32 AM »
carrots, your kids' ideas are awesome!!! Please thank them for me. I can definitely work with those.

 :lightbulb    :write5    :carrot    :running

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The Art of Grammar / Re: She said v. she laughed, etc.
« Last post by andracill on Today at 08:49 AM »
I will admit, this is a personal pet peeve of mine. ;) Of course, the fact that it happens enough to be a pet peeve illustrates the different opinions/tastes of copy editors. But although you can laugh while speaking, you can't actually laugh words (other than *ha* or *he*, I suppose). It pulls me from the story every time I read a non-speaking dialogue tag.

*Said* is fairly invisible, so using that or avoiding the tag altogether works well, I think.

She giggled. "I can't believe you said that."
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The Art of Grammar / Re: She said v. she laughed, etc.
« Last post by Melody on Today at 08:26 AM »
You can add the actions later. Examples:

"That frightened me!" she said, with a shiver.

"Way to go," she said, and then laughed.

See the difference? They are not "laughing" or "shivering" the words.  ;)
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Kidlit Good News / Re: Sold early reader to Random House!
« Last post by DianaM on Today at 06:08 AM »
Thanks again!! :hug
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Research / Re: Types of harmless pranks
« Last post by carrots on Today at 04:56 AM »
You're so welcome, Barbara!

My children want to chime in with their thoughts.

Teen son: the old bucket over the door trick (but maybe containing something other than water...)

Tween daughter: a fish (rotten?) in someone's bunk

(And your ideas are brilliant, Debbie!!! The smoke would create so much havoc, while not actually harming anyone or anything.)
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Kidlit Good News / Re: I have an agent!
« Last post by Mindy Alyse Weiss on Yesterday at 10:15 PM »
I'm so happy for you, Deb! Huge congrats. Fingers and toes crossed that you'll be shouting out news of a sale soon.

:star2 :star2 :star2 :star2  :congratulations :congratulations :star2 :star2 :star2 :star2
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Research / Re: Types of harmless pranks
« Last post by Barbara Etlin on Yesterday at 09:50 PM »
Thanks, Debbie. You both got me thinking productively. I think there's something I can use from each of you.  :yourock
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The Art of Grammar / Re: She said v. she laughed, etc.
« Last post by Debbie Vilardi on Yesterday at 09:04 PM »
I've been writing a long time and the majority of books I've read on writing have indicated that when people are speaking that is oral: aka from your mouth. A shiver is a bodily reaction.  I've made that mistake many times and when I've read it back on first revision it seemed okay.

Actually, whilst we're on the subject (that's so cliched, but never mind): this is from my WIP, does it read to long-winded? Please ignore the content, it's born of boredom!

"Can I have your fingers?" Bobby asked.
"What?!" the girl gasped. "No! I need them."
"Just the nail clippings, then," Bobby said. "They go great on a pizza!"
"Alright," the girl said. "Just be gentle."
Bobby sat beside her on the bed with his scissors in hand. Why did humans think all monsters were brutes? he wondered.
He continued clipping the girls finger nails and her toes until they were nicely trimmed and his pillowcase filled with wonderful human shavings.

Too descriptive?

Hard to judge a piece without context, but since this is a grammar area, I'll point out you're missing an apostrophe in girl's.

Back to the original subject: A gasp usually doesn't come with words. It's a sound indicating surprise. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/gasp   So the gasp comes first, and then have the words she says.

For she laughed, it's harder to say because people do speak while laughing. But I might say, "She laughed out, 'You're kidding, right.'" Or she barely got the words "You're kidding right" out through her laughter. I think if you have "'You're kidding right,' she laughed," many people will still read the laughter as happening after the words. The same will be true if you have the tag first.
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Research / Re: Types of harmless pranks
« Last post by Debbie Vilardi on Yesterday at 08:54 PM »
He could still move things around while someone is sleeping. Perhaps use smoke to make someone think there's a fire.
 
Frankly, I think Carrots had better ideas, but these may do.
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Research / Re: Types of harmless pranks
« Last post by Barbara Etlin on Yesterday at 07:51 PM »
Thanks, carrots!  :thankyou
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