Is it possible to bring some of that out of exposition and into dialogue (not monologue)? Could some of it be simplified? So instead of, "The two men in navy suits put me in the back of a panel van, drove 8.4 miles and turned left..." could it be more, "Those two goons you saw? They're the guys who drove me out to the old McMahon house"?
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Page created in 0.145 seconds with 26 queries.