I am sooo supposed to be steam-cleaning my carpets right now. Here goes.
Dear Ms. Keditor,
Hello! Can I call you Faye? How are you, Faye? I am fine.
When you were a child, Faye, did you ever wonder what it would be like to fly in a rocket ship and explore outer space? Or did you ever wonder (when you were a child) what it would be like to dive in a deep-sea submarine and explore the bottom of the ocean? Then, hoo boy, do I have a story for you!
My story is about a young boy named Mike. Mike is eleven years old. Mike is just like you when you were a child, Faye, because he, too, likes to explore things. One day Mike decides that he wants to explore New York City. So, he crawls out of his window late one night and sneaks tippy-toed to the interstate. There, he meets up with a kindly man who offers to give him a ride to New York City. Oh, the wonderful adventures they have driving across many state lines together, Faye! Then they finally make it. New York City. The Big Apple. The city that never sleeps. New York, New York! Where the Bronx is up and the Battery’s down, and the people ride in a hole in the ground. Their kind of town, New York City is. Faye, I would tell you about the many wonderful adventures they have there, but I don’t want to spoil the book for you.
Enclosed please find my hand-printed manuscript. I was going to type it up for you, Faye, but I thought you might want to read some of the things I crossed out to double-check that I didn’t decide to delete any gems that should really be included in the book. Also, if you could correct any grammar and sentence structure mistakes I made in red pen, that would be great, too. I tried to proofread it once after I wrote it, but I got frustrated and stopped. I’m not an editor, after all, you are. Best to leave the writing to the writers, right Faye? [JK]
Well, that’s it for now. Give me a call once you’ve had a chance to look this over and we’ll take it from there. We can discuss my contract over dinner and drinks, which you can bet will be better than TV, if you know what I mean. Next Thursday or Friday would be good for me.