I LOVED so many of these! I think this topic needs to be renamed, because I would seriously want to read many of these stories!
I am a really boring person. Nothing interesting ever happens to me.[This works if in the next sentence something interesting DOES happen]
Bright red valentine hearts erupted on the diner walls; they looked just like a teenager with a bad case of acne. [Yes, I need to read on to find out why this is happening!]
Lenore looked into the mirror and sighed. How could anyone with her shockingly turquoise eyes, perfect skin, thick waves of dark red hair, and almost-too-slender figure EVER hope to get a date to the Vampire Ball? [hehe! What it is about Lenore that makes her so undesirable as a date? I have to read on to find out!]
China is famous for Giant Pandas. But I never saw one, because I was at the zoo in St. Louis, which was closed for the season when I got there. [Love this voice! The bait and switch totally works as a hook. I'll read on!]
The day began just like any other. You know that crusty stuff you find in the corners of your eyes and have to dig out when you first wake up...? [Hehe! Make it humour and I'll totally read on!]
Once upon a time there was a gorgeous girl who lived with her perfect, well-adjusted family in a neighborhood with other perfect families. Everyone liked each other. They often swapped cookies and cupcakes and Hallmark greeting cards. The girl had no problems. She had no goals. None of her friends had problems or goals either. Neither did her fabulous, respectful boyfriend. How nice. [This one would work if in the next sentence the narrator somehow turns this on it's head: "And then the Anderson family moved in next door."]
Everybody has bad days. It's part of life. Sometimes you even have three or four of them all at once. But how many people can say they've had 263 bad days in a row? ANyone? Didn't think so. So...I win. 263 days of bloating, puking, hemorrhoids, heartburn, stretch marks and t*ts that look like frikken water balloons. Just so I can become another stupid statistic on some stupid official chart somewhere. "Sixteen year old idiot girl gets knocked up by loser and ruins life." And, according to the control-freak doctor that my Mom makes me go to, I have another 17 days to go and THEN it will ALL be worth it. Yeah...right. [OMG! I LOVE this voice! I would so continue reading this!]
I'm going to die. We all are going to die. It's just, I'm planning on doing it sooner than everyone else. Like, in ten minutes from now. I don't care if you think it's a sin or immoral or just plain selfish. I don't want to be alive anymore, and so I'm just gonna end it all. Nothing spectacular. No drug overdoses or slit wrists. So overdone. No going off on all my friends and family or my school. I'm not in it for attention. I mean, I'll be dead, so what do I care if you notice me or not? It isn't like anyone noticed me before. Nope. I'm going to die, and there's nothing anyone can do to stop me. Then again, maybe I won't kill myself after all. [Make this humour and this totally works! Especially if you give the character something really funny to live for.]
The thing is, they make recycling sound so glamorous on the Disney Channel, but in real life? Well, let me just tell you the top 100 things you find at the bottom of discarded glass jars. [hahaha! I'm guessing this MC is doing volunteer work at the recycling centre and hating it? Again, keep up with the funny voice and this totally works!]
Grounded. For the entire summer. Stuck in my bedroom. Bored, bored, bored. No friends, no phone, no Internet, no TV. Maybe I should start a diary to relieve boredom. Too bad I’m not particularly bright, funny or insightful.
Ate cheese doodles. Wiped orange powder on my jeans. Looked at the ceiling. Repeat.
Ate Doritos. Wiped reddish orange powder on my jeans. Looked at the scale. I’ve gained a pound. Repeat.[Provided something exciting happens after this, this opening works too.]
Of all times for my butt to itch, this is probably the worst. A bathroom break would be just the thing right now, but we're in the middle of a stupid essay test. Urgh... rubbing against the chair isn't working -- I need to scratch! But how can I get my hand down in my pants without anybody noticing? [My boys would read this! They are totally into any kind of toilet humour!]
You don’t really want to read this book! [Yep, this hooks me all right! Now tell me why and make it funny!]
It was a bright and sunny day. Seriously, it was. [Again, make it funny and I'll read it!]
The really bad openings in this thread, IMVHO, are the overly descriptive ones that blather on about nothing. The shorter punchier ones, even when they're trying to seem boring , totally capture my attention.