[Adrienne Ruork Posts: 9 Status: Offline Writing for kids makes me feel like a kid again!]

Hello there!

I'm brand new to this forum, so I might as well dive in (pun somewhat intended) with a question:

Is drowning too heavy a concept for PBs?

I'll give some context. I have written a book in a series in which the climax is the main character saving a honey bee from drowning in a pond by using a tree branch to scoop her out. I had a family member give it a read, and he remarked that he "didn't like" the following narrative:

"The Lemon Farmer placed the branch on solid ground, thankful that the honey bee had not floated away or drowned."

I think he felt it was too serious of a topic for younger ones, despite 95% of the story not being about the honey bee drowning. Personally, I feel it would be a good learning opportunity between adult and child, but I would like to know the opinions of others before I decide to make the change or not.

Thank you for reading, and for your time!

[JodyJS Posts: 1,316 Status: Offline Who you gonna call? EMERGENCY KITTENS! WWW]

Hi Adrienne,

If it were me, I'd leave drowning out. Just the fact that the bee had been in trouble but was rescued would be dramatic enough, and illustrations might show the little bee dripping and scared. Parents and children could still talk about being safe around water.

Good luck!

Jody

[carrots Posts: 551 Status: Offline]

Hi Adrienne,

If it were me, I'd leave drowning out. Just the fact that the bee had been in trouble but was rescued would be dramatic enough, and illustrations might show the little bee dripping and scared. Parents and children could still talk about being safe around water.

Good luck!

Jody

This.

(Just an idea: The Lemon Farmer placed the branch on solid ground, thankful that the honey bee was now safe and sound.)

Best wishes, Adrienne!!

[Adrienne Ruork Posts: 9 Status: Offline Writing for kids makes me feel like a kid again!]

This.

(Just an idea: The Lemon Farmer placed the branch on solid ground, thankful that the honey bee was now safe and sound.)

Best wishes, Adrienne!!

Oh, that is a great suggestion, carrots!

Thank you for taking the time to help me! 

[Adrienne Ruork Posts: 9 Status: Offline Writing for kids makes me feel like a kid again!]

Hi Adrienne,

If it were me, I'd leave drowning out. Just the fact that the bee had been in trouble but was rescued would be dramatic enough, and illustrations might show the little bee dripping and scared. Parents and children could still talk about being safe around water.

Good luck!

Jody

Thank you for the insight, Jody! You're right, the rest of the narrative and illustrations will do the trick.

As they say, it's better to show than tell, right? 

[JodyJS Posts: 1,316 Status: Offline Who you gonna call? EMERGENCY KITTENS! WWW]

Right!