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Writing, Illustrating & Publishing => Research => Topic started by: missy t on March 28, 2012, 02:59 PM

Title: Age of first date
Post by: missy t on March 28, 2012, 02:59 PM
at what age do the kids you know start going out on dates?

i don't mean group activities with girls and boys, but one girl and one boy. 

i'm in my thirties, and i remember some of the "cool kids" i grew up with often went on dates (eg: one girl and one boy having lunch together at mcdonalds) as early as sixth grade. in my WIP, i have a date during the summer between seventh and eighth grade.
but a middle school teacher i know was quite insistent that doesn't happen these days.

all help appreciated  :thankyou   
Title: Re: Age of first date
Post by: MysteryRobin on March 28, 2012, 03:15 PM
My kids won't be dating in middle school... ;) And none of their friends really do. When I was a kid, I'd say "dating" started more like Freshman year, but it feels later now. I do run with parents that are pretty conservative about dating, though, and discourage it generally. So take that with a grain of salt.
Title: Re: Age of first date
Post by: ruecole on March 28, 2012, 04:17 PM
Dunno if this helps, but my youngest (who's in Grade 6) had a girl at the beginning of the year want to date him. I don't know if that would involve actual dates or if it would just label them boyfriend/girlfriend, but we didn't get that far as my son said he wasn't interested in dating until he was "old enough to get married."

Title: Re: Age of first date
Post by: andracill on March 28, 2012, 04:21 PM
I think it will definitely depend on parents' rules.  I wasn't allowed to date until I was 16, and my kiddos won't be, either.  If they want to 'date' when they're 14 or 15, it will be a family thing (meaning, mom or dad will be present).  But I'm also pretty conservative ;)
Title: Re: Age of first date
Post by: amberturner on March 28, 2012, 04:35 PM
My 2 cents...I'd say 15 or 16 too.
Title: Re: Age of first date
Post by: Liz Straw on March 28, 2012, 05:23 PM
I had my "first" date when I was 13, it was a dance at a Military School, my uncle set it up and I am not sure that I really considered it a real date.  I just thought it was cool I was going to a dance at an all boys school.  :woo

My next date was not until I was 16 and I was fine with that. 

I think most of us were more comfortable going out as a group of girls, meeting up with a group of guys.  By 16, I was ready to go solo.  He didn't last all that long although he would show up from time to time.

I think high school is probably old enough to consider a date, but it would depend on what the date is and who it is with; most kids are not ready to pair up and some want to be a couple, those kids scare me, especially at the ages of 11, 12 and 13. :reaction
Title: Re: Age of first date
Post by: AuntyBooks on March 28, 2012, 05:43 PM
Lots of kids these days don't do the traditional 'date' thing. They hang out in groups, and pair off within the group.

 :ladybug: eab
Title: Re: Age of first date
Post by: J.Ro on March 28, 2012, 06:00 PM
I agree with auntybooks, lots more of the group dating - and dating is expensive.  My son was probably 16 when he first took a girl to a movie just the two of them.
Title: Re: Age of first date
Post by: Cynthia on March 28, 2012, 07:11 PM
My two older kids are 17 and 15 and no dates yet. I would let them, just hasn't happened. I think a real, true date doesn't happen until someone is driving, which in most states is 16.5 - junior year.

But there could definitely be a "pre-date" activity. Like maybe they go to the amusement park together, and mom or dad are in the park somewhere. Or they get dropped off by parents at a movie and picked up. Or they walk to get ice cream together. I think there's a lot of variation - many parents wouldn't allow that, but many would. So you can do what you like in your book.
Title: Re: Age of first date
Post by: Kurtis on March 28, 2012, 07:37 PM
I agree that if it's believable in your book, it's fine. Kids aren't all the same.

But I also agree that most kids don't "date" so much as "go together," i.e., they hang out after school or something but don't have the resources to date.

I have a first date of two fourteen year olds in my WIP; they take a bus to the mall and have freeby tickets to do something there. In another scene they go to the park together. Mostly they hang out with a group of friends (which includes another love interest for her) (Sigh.)
Title: Re: Age of first date
Post by: LMES on March 29, 2012, 07:49 AM
My parents didn't let me start dating until I was 16. But I managed to find ways around that!

Title: Re: Age of first date
Post by: olmue on March 29, 2012, 08:26 AM
I think Kurtis is onto something about kids hanging out. "Date" sounds sort of deliberate and formal to me. But--I'm not a kid anymore, so I dunno.

We're another 16 family. But there's also the individuals to be considered. My older kids are still rather scared of girls (my oldest is 14 and admits nervously that some of his friends are girls--but he still goes to great lengths to avoid school dances. ) My girls, on the other hand...well, let's just say that one of them has already broken a finger while chasing boys on the playground...
Title: Re: Age of first date
Post by: J.Ro on March 30, 2012, 06:11 AM
I just polled my Art I class for you and the answers were 15, 16, 17.

Title: Re: Age of first date
Post by: Kami K on March 30, 2012, 06:21 AM
First date for my son (now 16) was at the beginning of 9th grade when he was 14... but this was us dropping him off at the movies and picking him up with the girl's parents doing the same, though they weren't with a group... (had done the group thing a few times first).

Regarding middle school... I don't know if that happens so much these days, though they do stuff in groups and I think "couples" find a way to be alone in groups, like sitting at a different table, would that work?
Title: Re: Age of first date
Post by: missy t on March 30, 2012, 07:29 AM
this is great, everyone!! thank you all so, so much  :)