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Revisionland

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Good to hear Thundering!

Joined a critique group. Anxiously waiting to see how poorly I have done.

After all of this I think I can be called a Revisionist Veteran. I have the emotional scars and empty toner cartridges to prove it.

P.S. After this winter I have earned a new respect for Polar Bears.  :cold
#631 - March 05, 2015, 01:21 PM
"Typically, it turned out to be a much bigger job than I anticipated, but—everything does, if you aim high enough."

Neil Peart on writing a book.

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Was all set with my cappuccino in a quiet coffee shop, opened the bag...no work!  :gaah :duh
Now I am at home with the Vulcan and a lot of chocolate. Not as bad as I thought. I'm still cold but in a writing mode so I might just manage a few scrawls.
Oh, one thing: my mother has shocked me! The entire family is due here in a few days to celebrate her 60th birthday on Friday. I'm looking forward to it. The downside is that wicked Stepfather will be there (obviously, my mother is married to the wretched beast) and John is not invited. Mum doesn't have any issues with John, she actually quite likes him. Stepfather won't have him anywhere near the place.
Family politics! :sadcry :voodoo
#632 - March 08, 2015, 08:45 AM

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Where is everyone?
Hope you had a nice Easter. Just returned from my writing haven with the devastating news that it is to close. :sadcry  Not only has it been a source of constant inspiration over the past eight years (or longer) but I have gained many friends merely by sitting inside with my trustee paper & ink & being asked what on Earth I am writing and the inspirational eavesdropping I have engaged in whilst nursing a cold coffee. I shall miss it.  I think we will probably congregate for a goodbye brew on Sunday, just before they close the doors forever. :hug :mob
My revisions are still bugging me, as are my characters. They talk too much & most of it gibberish.
#633 - April 10, 2015, 07:35 AM

*bump*

After months and months of being stuck on my current work in progress (my "Sisters" MG/YA book, now retitled "Ruth and Rita") -- trying to come up with a different plot / structure, figure out what the internal and external conflicts in each chapter should be, etc. -- this week I simply started a rewrite in which I've kept the basic plot but I'm changing the 1st Person-Present Tense narrative to 1st-Past.

In just the first two chapters so far, I've noticed I'm more inclined to cut lines and passages that aren't really working (getting too much into the MC's head, weighing the story down with too much telling and not enough showing), and I'm hoping I will also be inspired to add scenes to keep the story moving.
#634 - August 15, 2015, 02:52 PM
"This is your life and you be what you want to be.
Just don't hurt nobody, 'less of course they ask you."

XTC, "Garden of Earthly Delights" (1989)

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Hi all
Just discovered that after being on the Blueboards for several years, ive never paid much, if any, attention to the Revision thread. Dont ask me why as I'm constantly revising one project or another. Right now its my current middle grade. I sent it to my agent a couple months ago feeling really excited and positive about it. And then i received her comments  :gaah i really hate it when she so sweetly and correctly points out all the parts that need improving.  :lol4 Anyway, I'm making solid progress. I think  :grin3
#635 - August 15, 2015, 08:27 PM
A Smidgen of Sky (Harcourt 2012)
A Sliver of Sun (book #2)
 A Million Ways Home (Scholastic 2014)
 www.diannawinget.com
Twitter@DiannaMWinget

Well, at least you were told where you need improvement. :yup

I'm on my 4th draft now... Back in January, my stepmother wanted to see my WIP after my 3rd draft (after she'd read my 2nd draft last summer and basically told me that one of my major characters wasn't coming across as I had intended him to), and a few months later my dad had to tell me she never finished it -- she couldn't even get through it!  :eek5

I seriously thought about just chucking the whole thing, not bothering to do anything more with it.  :-\
#636 - August 16, 2015, 08:37 AM
"This is your life and you be what you want to be.
Just don't hurt nobody, 'less of course they ask you."

XTC, "Garden of Earthly Delights" (1989)

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Oh, goodness, G.R.! You're incredibly brave for letting your mother in law read it to begin with. :sadcry I think sometimes letting non writers or non professionals read your work does more harm than good. I'm definitely glad you didn't decide to chuck it. Do you belong to a crit group? That would be a lot safer bet. Nobody reads my work in progress except for my four member online crit group, followed by my agent.
#637 - August 16, 2015, 09:31 AM
A Smidgen of Sky (Harcourt 2012)
A Sliver of Sun (book #2)
 A Million Ways Home (Scholastic 2014)
 www.diannawinget.com
Twitter@DiannaMWinget

Sadly, no -- I wouldn't have the slightest idea of how to get an online crit group together.  :huh
#638 - August 16, 2015, 02:09 PM
"This is your life and you be what you want to be.
Just don't hurt nobody, 'less of course they ask you."

XTC, "Garden of Earthly Delights" (1989)

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Check out the Queries and Critique board. You can request manuscript crits and there are often posts from other Blueboarders looking for a crit group. All it takes is a few willing individuals. My group has four all together and we take turns subbing our work to each other online about once a month. If we dont have anything to sub a particular month we just skip our turn. Also, have you considered joining SCBWI? Its a terrific resource and well worth the money in my opinion. Rmember, you are not alone  :grouphug2
#639 - August 16, 2015, 04:27 PM
A Smidgen of Sky (Harcourt 2012)
A Sliver of Sun (book #2)
 A Million Ways Home (Scholastic 2014)
 www.diannawinget.com
Twitter@DiannaMWinget

Thanks.  :hug

I actually did join SCBWI several years ago, and I was a member for about 5 years until money got to be too tight.  :-\

I will consider looking at the Queries and Critique board, though... :yup

#640 - August 17, 2015, 10:26 AM
"This is your life and you be what you want to be.
Just don't hurt nobody, 'less of course they ask you."

XTC, "Garden of Earthly Delights" (1989)

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Good luck with your new critique group, once you find it, G.R. I love my critique group. I was out of one for a couple years, and I am so HAPPY to be back in another one. The solid advice you receive is irreplaceable.  :goodluck
#641 - August 17, 2015, 12:49 PM

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So here's the Revisionland thread. I thought I had lost it or it had been revised into a Happy Birthday thread or something. Very good.

Almost done revising MS. (now hearing the sound of hundred's of SCBWI members laughing themselves to tears) OK, I said "almost" and then it shall be ready for the gnashing teeth of a critique group.  :jaws I know there will be mistakes found and pointed out but I have to thicken my skin and take it as it should be taken, as constructive and useful feedback. 

I just hope they don't give me a wedgie when they're done.


And now...DANCING CHICKENS!!!  :chickendance :chickendance
#642 - August 18, 2015, 11:49 AM
"Typically, it turned out to be a much bigger job than I anticipated, but—everything does, if you aim high enough."

Neil Peart on writing a book.

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Can I resuscitate this thread? Surely someone else has moved into Revisionland lately. Hello, neighbors! What is on your revision list for today? I've got:

1. Fact checking. There are some conditions/situations where different people have had very different experiences. Some things manifest differently in different people, but I've got to make sure that the facts I've included (all taken from real life) sound convincing enough to someone who's experienced that condition a little differently. And if not, then change.
2. More fact checking. Technology--arrrrrrggggghhhhh! The bane of every writer. WHY does technology solve so many plot problems? I hate it when you think you understand a piece of technology and then find out that it is not as limited as you thought. Security systems, anyone?
3. Removing all the words. How can my characters possibly snort over 20 times in one manuscript?! And why are there so many words?
4. Removing a whole chapter that does nothing. Yay! (See #3.)

When I look at my book as a whole, I love it. Yet it's taken a lot of kicking and screaming to get here. I sure hope revision is easier.

Who else is here with me?
#643 - April 29, 2016, 07:17 AM

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Woohoo! Someone else has done it. I thought revisionland had sink underwater! My internet pass has gone which suits me fine because it gives me a chance to catch up on my longhand writing. I have about three chapters left to write. Then i can truly enter revision land.
No idea how many words I've written but I've done just under 7000 which is way too much because I haven't finished yet.
It's contributed to a great deal of writers cramp. And I have yet to type it up.
Then revise.
I'm finally part of this club! The story is probably rubbish but I'm sticking with it.
#644 - April 30, 2016, 09:26 AM

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That's the only way to make it not rubbish anymore, right? :) At least, I hope it's making a difference, what with how much effort it takes!
#645 - April 30, 2016, 11:17 AM

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IT'S ALIVE!! IT'S ALIVE!!  :aah

Good to see this old thread back in business. Went to a SCBWI regional meeting and it did a lot of good. I went mostly for motivational purposes and met some fine folks as well. Got me back on track again because I was seriously slacking.


2. More fact checking. Technology--arrrrrrggggghhhhh! The bane of every writer. WHY does technology solve so many plot problems? I hate it when you think you understand a piece of technology and then find out that it is not as limited as you thought. Security systems, anyone?
4. Removing a whole chapter that does nothing. Yay! (See #3.)

Well, for number 2 my first thought was Star Trek. Jordie would say "Wait a minute! If we send the baratron pulses along with the tacheyon pulses through the plasma conduits, it may be possible to repair the damage done to the warp-core". I know it is easy to make this stuff up but it gets kind of old when it saved the ship too many times.  :umm

Number 4? You just don't want to do it but when you look at it, it's gotta go. I had the same with several chapters. :kickbutt
#646 - April 30, 2016, 02:03 PM
« Last Edit: April 30, 2016, 02:15 PM by Mark6b »
"Typically, it turned out to be a much bigger job than I anticipated, but—everything does, if you aim high enough."

Neil Peart on writing a book.

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I know we're not supposed but I am revising this & think it might read slightly plagiaristic:
Dad went to the kitchen, made a pot of tea & brought it to us on a tray with a plate of cake. Tea cake, Dad called it. Made with cherries & currants, in fact every dried fruit imaginable, I had no idea if it had tea. I didn't care. Dad's always tasted delicious.

Too descriptive & like Roald Dahl?
#647 - May 01, 2016, 05:35 AM

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It doesn't immediately strike me as too Dahl-ish, but then, he is not as ever present in the States as he is over there. I think if it was surrounded by dialogue, it wouldn't feel too description-ish.

So, my question: how do you know when you're done revising? I'm coming up against a hard deadline (moving), and I've checked the boxes for what my critiquers brought up. But I don't want panic and deadlines to make the decision for me. Ack. I hate the questioning-yourself stage.
#648 - May 04, 2016, 03:43 PM

Olmue, I wish I knew when revisions were done... I've revised the book I'm currently working on soooo many times in the last... Ten? More? Years. I send books to my agent when I feel like the pieces are in the right place and I feel proud of the theme, characters, and climax I've built. If it's been through a couple trusted critique partners, I consider it good enough for my agent.
#649 - May 04, 2016, 03:55 PM

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Glad to see this thread on the list. I just finished my last computer draft on a novel I've been working on since 2013 and felt comfortable enough to print it up after ripping it apart and rewriting the plot and adding characters. I haven't been in a critique group for a few years and really learned to miss it after going through this alone.
The ms is now resting for a couple of weeks and then I will tackle the pencil edit--my favorite part of revising---enriching and polishing and plugging the changes into the computer.
 
To everyone on this thread who is revising  :goodluck and :yourock
#650 - May 04, 2016, 05:42 PM
Beyond Suspicion, YA Mystery, Poisoned Pen Press, 2015
http://www.catherineawinnbooks.com

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Well, at least you were told where you need improvement. :yup

I'm on my 4th draft now... Back in January, my stepmother wanted to see my WIP after my 3rd draft (after she'd read my 2nd draft last summer and basically told me that one of my major characters wasn't coming across as I had intended him to), and a few months later my dad had to tell me she never finished it -- she couldn't even get through it!  :eek5

I seriously thought about just chucking the whole thing, not bothering to do anything more with it.  :-\
GR: We've all been there. I'm constantly there and ditched stories in the process. Twenty three times, actually. I have a massive folder of withering paper (I write longhand) stories that I will never do anything with.
As for your parents, that's also happened. In fact, Mum has often criticised my work. Purely because I write for children. That's how I address it most times. Even declaring that I am a "children's writer" is an immature label.

Also, consider one thing:your parents aren't the target audience. Join a critique group and get a proper perspective. That is advice consistently given at our SCBWI chapter group.
And where possible ask children. 
That might not be helpful, but it's how I have coped over the thirty years that I have written. :goodluck

As for me, I was in the coffee shop yesterday where a mother and her two children sat next to me and I hit a mental block so I put my pen and got talking to them. I got talking and read a chapter from WIP.
"I like her," said one of the children (of MC), "but she's not horrible enough".
I have decided to continue with the story. Just to finish it. If the cat will permit me. He is definitely a reason to write elsewhere. I am sitting on the bed with two laptops and it's extremely uncomfortable. :cat :bangcomputer
Where is that voodoo icon? I seriously need it. It may be cruelty against animals but I seriously need to send Spock a message! :gaah
First, I must remove my Vulcan cat and get the pen and paper out.
#651 - May 05, 2016, 02:45 AM
« Last Edit: May 05, 2016, 02:57 AM by thunderingelephants »

Complete rewrite is going smoothly, I have roughly one more chapter left to go. Then it's onto the second half of Vella's stories.
#652 - May 18, 2016, 07:08 PM

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So I sent a new CB to my agent (not an early transitional CB like my previous stuff, but one that is approaching 8k words for 7-10 year olds) and her feedback was basically that it's funny and an awesome concept but lacking the heart that would make it great. So I have to revise to add a layer of heart.

So I'm not very good at feelings. How do you add more heart/emotional connection for the reader? (in a general way)  :eh2
#653 - August 14, 2016, 10:27 AM
THIS LITTLE PIGGY (AN OWNER'S MANUAL), Aladdin PIX June 2017 :pigsnort
KUNG POW CHICKEN 1-4, Scholastic 2014 :chicken

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Hey fellow revisionists! I am tackling my mg fantasy last edits and small revisions. I finished a fairly major revision to work out world issues and follow through on plotlines and felt like it was all pretty well put together. I printed it, let it sit for over a month while I revised and sent out a picture book dummy to an interested editor. *deep breath I've read through my last draft now and...
I like it! Yay! That feels so good. And now, the tough part -- I'm terrible at finishing things. I get to the last stages of pretty much any project and a wall goes up. It's so hard to just finish. I have mostly typo fixes, small edits and a few minor revisions throughout, but I'm just not sure how to proceed besides just put my butt in the chair and start from the beginning again. But that feels so daunting.

Anyone have any techniques to tackling the last stages of edits? Or perhaps I just need a good kick in the seat of my pants.
#654 - August 28, 2016, 01:55 PM
The Mermaid's Gift, Pelican, 2015
Cody and Grandpa's Christmas Tradition, Pelican 2016
Rest in Peace RaShawn, Creative Medicine, 2017

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So I sent a new CB to my agent (not an early transitional CB like my previous stuff, but one that is approaching 8k words for 7-10 year olds) and her feedback was basically that it's funny and an awesome concept but lacking the heart that would make it great. So I have to revise to add a layer of heart.

So I'm not very good at feelings. How do you add more heart/emotional connection for the reader? (in a general way)  :eh2

A quick thought, interview your characters and find out their deepest fears, what has hurt them the most, made them the happiest. What is something they have never told anyone before? Their most embarrassing moment.
#655 - August 28, 2016, 01:58 PM
The Mermaid's Gift, Pelican, 2015
Cody and Grandpa's Christmas Tradition, Pelican 2016
Rest in Peace RaShawn, Creative Medicine, 2017

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Anyone else trying to work on revisions over the holidays? I've just received my first edit letter from my first editor for my first MG book (eek)! I need to try to finish up the first round of edits by mid-January and I'm having a hard time buckling down with all the holiday to-do lists surrounding me. If anyone else is in the same boat and needs some moral support (i.e. a kick in the pants), I'm game for re-opening Revisionland!
#656 - December 18, 2016, 10:38 AM

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