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Not nice topic: what happens to this account if I pass away?

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So recent events got me to wondering what happens to all my threads/comments etc if I pass away. I've noticed that today is the birthday of one board member who passed away last year. It's kind of weird to see their birthday come up and it's weird to see their avatar on threads where they've commented. They're not family or even a close friend of mine but it made me wonder whether there should be some kind of protocol for this situation, as it could potentially be upsetting to people? Or is it worse to delete their accounts? I don't know... just thought I should bring it up.


Thanks!
#1 - August 07, 2014, 11:20 AM

Mortality spends a lot of time in the back of my mind. I haven't really been concerned with what happens to my account on communities, but I have wondered about things such as social media and places where I've made good friends (which I'm still new here to do so).

Of course, my train of thought often goes along the lines of if hubby will know what places to visit, if he can log in and so on. It's something I think of, but have yet to bring up with him.

As for your question on if it's better to keep or remove a previous member's comments? I think keeping them is best, especially if they offered something of importance to that particular discussion.

Maybe there's a way to turn off birthday/site notifications for members who have passed on?

 :bunny2
#2 - August 07, 2014, 12:04 PM

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It's an interesting discussion, Siski, and as Kali said, applies to a lot of social media. I know a thread about Lisa Madigan's illness and death was kept in the Preserved Posts board because she had been an active member here. It might be upsetting to some people to let deceased member's posts and profiles remain, but could be just as upsetting to remove them. I personally would hate to see posts of deceased members removed--I want to remember and acknowledge the contributions they made here. It would certainly be possible for an Admin to remove birthday notices from profiles, but again, who decides?
 
And Kali, I love your avatar. I have two well-loved house rabbits.  :bunny2
#3 - August 07, 2014, 12:17 PM
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I just raised this topic with my husband today because of Raynbow's death.  I wanted to see if he knew how to contact my online crowd.  He said he did.
#4 - August 07, 2014, 12:18 PM
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As writers and illustrators, I think a lot of us might feel comforted by the fact that our words and pictures will outlive us, so my vote is to keep them.
#5 - August 07, 2014, 01:54 PM
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When someone has been a special part of our board and passes away, I love the thought of keeping his/her account active. I definitely don't have the heart to hit the delete button for any of them.
#6 - August 07, 2014, 01:57 PM

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What Marissa and Mindy said.

I noticed Wilson's birthday today too, Siski. While it made me feel very sad that he's no longer with us, it's also been nice to remember him.


I like the idea of preserving the contributions our deceased members made, and remembering them.
#7 - August 07, 2014, 02:02 PM
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I also agree. While it's sad to see posts and reminders of those no longer with us, I still enjoy remembering them through their words of encouragement and community here.


My dad passed away suddenly at the end of June, and my mom thought she ought to delete his Facebook account. But we encouraged her not to -- it would make me far sadder to not have his comments any more on my posts or pictures, where he's sharing his support and love for me and his grandchildren. Sometimes I go to his page and it's almost comforting (even though it's still heartbreaking, especially because the loss is so new). (I also like to think that far into the future, if FB is still around, my kids can see pictures I posted of them and also have more memories preserved.)


I guess that's how I feel about the issue here.


(AM, I had a similar conversation with my husband recently too, although he knows my sister is the one who has the most contact with my online world, lol. Both know what to do as well.)
#8 - August 07, 2014, 02:13 PM

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I'd like for our members to be remembered-- profiles remain and posts preserved.



#9 - August 07, 2014, 02:20 PM
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I also vote for preserving the comments. And even the birthday notices. It is, after all, still the day of someone's birth.
 
And it's nice to think of "living on" forever at the blueboards.  :love5:
#10 - August 07, 2014, 03:11 PM

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Blimey, you all are making me tear up!  :bwa  But in a good way. I also had the chat with my husband and sent an email to my sister with passwords etc just in case too. That made her tear up too. It's not a pleasant thing to think about but actually knowing that some of my silly/funny posts might make some of you smile if I do pass away prematurely is a comforting thought.


Love this place.  :bunnyrun  Just because it's a bunny with hearts.
#11 - August 07, 2014, 04:56 PM

We have a bunny with hearts icon? 0.0

 :bunnyrun

Marissa, I'm owned by a grey bunny. Love him to bits  :)



#12 - August 07, 2014, 05:36 PM

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Yes, I like that members posts and comments live on here.

As an aside, I read something online recently, or maybe saw a segment on TV (not sure which) that talked about how people with active social media accounts should specify in a will their wishes on what to do with the account when their gone, and make sure passwords are provided (although those can change often, so not sure how helpful that would be).

I'm not sure - is there a reason I would have a loved one delete my twitter account, for example? Is there anything wrong with letting it stay up indefinitely?

Sort of strange these are things we have to think about now in this digital age.
#13 - August 07, 2014, 05:37 PM
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I want to remember too.
#14 - August 07, 2014, 05:38 PM
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I've heard you can request to have a family members Facebook account memorialized, but I'm not entirely sure what that means.
#15 - August 07, 2014, 05:57 PM
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I didn't know that Marla. Thanks for sharing that info. And I agree. Keeping member's posts & comments here on the board forever sounds comforting & lovely. At least to me it does.

Raynbow's unexpected passing has made me so sad. I'll definitely have a talk with my hubby & give him my passwords.
#16 - August 07, 2014, 06:18 PM

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I'd like for our members to be remembered-- profiles remain and posts preserved.


This.
#17 - August 07, 2014, 06:31 PM
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I like remembering how our community was built.
Vijaya
#18 - August 07, 2014, 06:42 PM
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Aw, now I miss Wilson, too. Don't ever take his posts away! They are so helpful.

Raynbow, Lisa, Wilson, Laura, Chris, Julie, and others. They're part of our Blueboard family, even if they're not with us anymore.
#19 - August 07, 2014, 06:50 PM

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I like to keep contacts active. I've lost several good friends lately, and they are still in my phone and Facebook. I don't want to remove them. I want to see their names there. 

#20 - August 07, 2014, 07:23 PM
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I think they are still a part of our community-I vote to keep them.
#21 - August 07, 2014, 10:08 PM

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I did tear up, Franzilla, after reading olmue's list. We want to keep all of them here so they never leave.
#22 - August 08, 2014, 05:01 AM

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We keep real life pictures and letters of loved ones when they pass on, why should it be any different here?

After my MIL passed and we had a huge hassle with the gas company, I got worried about such things happening to me should my husband suddenly pass. I asked him to please write down all the urls and account information of all the bills he pays online. He refused. He said it wasn't necessary. It scares me that at some point I may have to spend time while in grief and shock trying to make sure utilities and bills are paid. Especially ones I don't have any awareness of since many of them no longer get paper notification but are either pulled directly from the checking account or send an email for payment due to his email. Which I don't have access information for.

I do know that with places like Facebook and websites (he manages several), I would have to order a death certificate and go through the hassle of dealing with the bureaucratic red tape to get account access for each place.

It may be morbid that I'm thinking about  this, but my husband has an incurable (a times life threatening) disease. While it's in remission now, it might not stay that way. Not having a list and access to his on-line life makes me feel very vulnerable. Five years ago, I almost died, and even though I am back on track now, I haven't gotten over the realization that life is fragile. (short story -- emergency chest surgery, ICU, and extended time for physical recovery)

Please talk with your loved ones and have a place where you list your online life, especially for things financially relevant. My husband might be being an ass about it, but I doubt his response will be universal.
#23 - August 08, 2014, 05:35 AM
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Those who have passed are still valued, much-loved BB members. I didn't even realize we'd lost so many. Makes me sad! It's too bad we don't have some sort of Memorial Board to honor and remember them and their contributions here.

And I have had the talk with my husband. When I'm gone, be sure to let my BB friends know.  :)
#24 - August 08, 2014, 06:59 AM
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Beyond keeping the blueboarders' posts/profile intact, I really love Writermutt's idea for a Memorial Board.


This is such a giving community, and I have a feeling that anyone who passed on would feel good about being remembered here. It's part of why we write, right? To leave something of ourselves in this world. This board is part of that.


 :grouphug2:
#25 - August 08, 2014, 07:06 AM
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Aw, now I miss Wilson, too. Don't ever take his posts away! They are so helpful.

Raynbow, Lisa, Wilson, Laura, Chris, Julie, and others. They're part of our Blueboard family, even if they're not with us anymore.

They really are.  :bluesad:
#26 - August 08, 2014, 07:58 AM

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It's too bad we don't have some sort of Memorial Board to honor and remember them and their contributions here.



I love this idea, Writermutt!
#27 - August 08, 2014, 01:47 PM

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 :fairywand:

Raynbow, Lisa, Wilson, Laura, Chris, Julie, and others. They're part of our Blueboard family, even if they're not with us anymore.

Love this^. Thank you, olmue. Writers write so their words will survive them.
#28 - August 08, 2014, 05:46 PM
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I'd like to keep their posts and profiles around if possible too. It does make me sad when they pop up in an old thread, but I think of many of them when I'm not on the Blueboards as well. So it's bittersweet to see their posts and avatars, but ultimately, I am happier that they are still around.

The only social media mentions that really get to me are ones where they ask me to friend/follow someone who I know is no longer with us. Always makes me wish I had known they were on that platform while they were still alive.
#29 - August 08, 2014, 09:09 PM
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Yes, Stephanie, that stings. Shortly after I put the news of my dad's passing (and link to the obituary) on his FB page, some random old friend posted a hello to him, apparently not having read the previous posts on the wall.  :bluesad:
#30 - August 09, 2014, 06:59 AM

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