[crystal205 Posts: 46 Status: Offline I love kids' books!]

Hi,
I'm trying to make my picture book not sound boring as you read the sentences. I usually start out with a noun in the beginning of a sentence which is most always the main character which could sometimes be boring like Sarah opened the door or Sarah walked to the park. I was wondering is it okay to change the sentence structure a bit like something like this: "Jumping up and down, Sarah caused the floor to vibrate." I know changing the sentence structure like this would be okay in chapter books or novels, but what about picture books?

I appreciate any comments. Thanks so much!

[Cindyb Posts: 396 Status: Offline]

Are you reading picture books? Notice the sentences in them. I found these sentence starters: At dinner each day...   and, In her dreams.... Since adults are reading the books, the sentences do not have to be simple as they would be for an early reader.

[Debbie Vilardi Posts: 6,694 Status: Offline Language is so cool! WWW]

It may be your verbs are more of a problem than your structures, though varying structure is a good idea. I realize your sentences were just meant as examples, but just in case consider:

Sarah pirouetted to the park. Sarah tiptoed to the park. Sarah raced, ran, skated, floated, ...

[Pczajak Posts: 17 Status: Offline Read everyday! WWW]

First and Formost it is your picture book play with it and write it how you want! Ultimalty though whatever you do you need to make your story sing. Sarah didn't open the door, that's telling.  Sarah bounded through the door. Or, The door flew open. You have so few words make it interesting!

[crystal205 Posts: 46 Status: Offline I love kids' books!]

Thanks, everyone. So that's good to know the sentences don't always have to be simple. So we can play around with the structure to not always make it the same.

[Robertvs Posts: 54 Status: Offline 1 <3 PB WWW]

As long as you're not talking down to the reader it should be okay. One thing I found was when I tried to make it 'simple', I just made it sound forced and almost cliched (kinda like if you tried to write a rhyming book but not very well)

It also depends on if this is a picture book that is mean to be read by a child alone or by an adult to a child, or a child with some adult help?