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Flirting?

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Trench Bunny Caretaker
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I hope this isn't an exceedingly dumb question and I'm not even sure if that's the right term I'm looking for, but how do 13-year-old girls act when they like a boy? When I was thirteen I wasn't yet interested in boys so I'm feeling a bit clueless here.

Thanks!

Rue
#1 - June 18, 2015, 12:46 PM
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I remember I would blush and clam up, actually try to avoid being around the boys I liked at that age. But, I was painfully shy too.
#2 - June 18, 2015, 12:58 PM

At that age I remember telling friends who I liked, hoping the message would get to his friends, and then onto him.

#3 - June 18, 2015, 01:24 PM

Perhaps not 100%, but I'd find ways to be "around" though would ignore them/act disinterested. A lot of girls were and still are flat-out, hold-nothing-back, in-your-face boy crazy, leaving no room for misinterpretation: calling boys, passing them notes (sometimes via a friend or slipping them in their lockers), writing a boy's name all over her notebooks, following the boy(s) in the halls....

I remember some girls giggling a lot around a boy they liked. Nervousness, I suppose, at least with some girls.

No matter how a girl reacted, it was undeniably awkward. Smmmmoooooooth isn't part of any 13 yo love life.
#4 - June 18, 2015, 01:32 PM
Imagination is more important than knowledge. Einstein.

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Thanks, guys!  :grin3

So either painfully shy or boy crazy. No in-between?  :lol4

Rue
#5 - June 18, 2015, 01:51 PM
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There's in-between. In my example, I wasn't shy around them...it was that my approach was to act like the boy of interest didn't exist (which heightened their interest). I suspect it was b/c I wasn't sure how to proceed, not from any cool sophistication.  :dragonchase

Probably not, but maybe a girl having an older sister(s) to coach her would help direct how she behaves??? (I didn't have any.)

Girlfriends also help coach, to calm, to encourage, to talk them out of something stupid, or try to convince not to do/to do something. (This can shape behavior, and can have disaster written all over it.)

Wouldn't your MC dictate how she behaves around them? Or is this for a minor character?

#6 - June 18, 2015, 02:11 PM
Imagination is more important than knowledge. Einstein.

Sometimes they try to annoy the guy as a way to get attention. Some girl keeps drawing on my son's arm during some boring class and I contend she likes him.  I think the more a girl protests she doesn't like a guy, the more she secretly does. She'll notice lots of things about him other girls might not pick up on.

Maybe acting totally out of character around him?  A lot of hair flipping, or touching her hair, curling it around her finger. Playfully shoving him. Giggling. So much giggling. 
#7 - June 18, 2015, 04:46 PM
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Ooooh, yes...flipping or twirling their hair.

How about taking off their glasses when he's near.

And brushing a boy's arm or quickly touching his hand. It's all an innocent accident, of course.
#8 - June 18, 2015, 05:23 PM
Imagination is more important than knowledge. Einstein.

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I was one of the shy ones, but I remember watching the pros.

They smiled at the guys a lot, did a lot of that touch-his-hand-arm-shoulder thing when talking to them. They were outgoing, which I think attracts a lot of guys, because it either saves them the work if they are bold enough to talk to girls, or gives them encouragement if they are a bit too shy to make the first move.

There were the ones who'd walk back and forth in front of a guys house and that sort of thing too.
#9 - June 18, 2015, 05:43 PM

There are always the brazen ones. I remember a girl dedicating her talent show song to the boy she liked in front of a big audience. He was mortified. I was more of a small gestures kind of girl: bringing the guy a cookie or making him a silly craft. But I also did that for friends, and tended to just daydream that my crush would try to hold my hand or something. Meanwhile, I was totally oblivious to the boys flirting with ME. I thought they were making fun of me...
#10 - June 18, 2015, 06:13 PM

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Thanks, guys!

So, lots of smiling, flipping hair, accidental-on-purpose touching, giggling. Maybe sharing food or giving a gift. Got it.

I'm too much like my MC: clueless about girls.  :lol4

Rue
#11 - June 18, 2015, 08:13 PM
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There's a book called Not Much Just Chillin': The Hidden Lives of Middle Schoolers, that's good on that kind of thing.
#12 - July 17, 2015, 07:15 PM

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Thanks, I'll check it out.  ::-)

Rue
#13 - August 22, 2015, 02:27 PM
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When our son was fourteen, a couple of girls showed up at his music recital (not school-related). Neither was performing, and afterward they asked him if they could have their pictures taken with him. So one stood by him as he stood awkwardly, holding his mandolin, and the other took their picture, and then the girls switched.

I cyberstalked them on Facebook, and both girls posted the photos on their pages--with a hearts border.

When I mentioned it to our son, he was completely clueless. That two cute girls showed up to his recital, asked for a photo, then posted it on Facebook--with hearts--no, none of it registered with him.  :faint
#14 - August 22, 2015, 02:53 PM
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Hilarious!  :dr

Rue
#15 - August 22, 2015, 03:01 PM
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When I was 13, this guy used to tease me with a nickname. I thought he didn't like me. When I told my mother about this, she told me--much to my surprise--that he probably liked me and was flirting with me.
#16 - August 22, 2015, 04:35 PM
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I had one of those, too, around the same age.  :eh2

Rue
#17 - August 22, 2015, 05:03 PM
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I'd write his name along with mine at the back of my notebook, inside a heart -my notebooks were full of hearts and other romantic doodles (like flowers). There was also lots of staring. I tried not to tell anyone about my feelings, but sometimes I'd share it with a friend or two.
#18 - September 07, 2015, 08:20 AM

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I am 100% with Arona on this one. Not brazen or shy just studiously disinterested. I didn't have any sisters either though so it might depend on what siblings your character has, if any 😉.

Oh! On the inside it was an entirely different matter. Even though I really was determined not to look or react to them, I was in a state of heightened reality. I was so sensorially aware!

Now I haven't felt like that in a long long time! Thanks for reminding me ☺
#19 - September 07, 2015, 03:38 PM

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