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Formatting question for picture book

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I'm working on a picture book (author only) in which I would like some of the text to appear in comic book style speech bubbles.  How would I format this in the manuscript?  Here's an example of how I am formatting now (not my actual text):

Everyone wanted ice cream. [Chocolate!][Rocky Road!][Strawberry!][Pickled herring!]

Would it be clear from this that each bracketed phrase represents a separate speech bubble?  Also, should I include a note in the manuscript that indicates what the bracketed text represents, or is it clear as is?

Thanks for any advice!
#1 - November 06, 2015, 07:05 PM

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Hi Jen,

I punctuate situations like this...

Everyone wanted ice cream.

"Chocolate!"
"Rocky Road!"
"Strawberry!"
"Pickled herring!"
#2 - November 07, 2015, 04:27 AM
PRUDENCE, THE PART-TIME COW, A CHIP OFF THE OLD BLOCK, BUSY BUS series, EMERGENCY KITTENS, and more!
Twitter @jodywrites4kids

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I agree with Jody. Leave it up to the illustrator and art director. YOU imagine it that way but you don't need to make that kind of decision. If your manuscript is acquired, THEY will make that kind of decision.
#3 - November 07, 2015, 05:27 AM
Harold Underdown

The Purple Crayon, a children's book editor's site: http://www.underdown.org/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/HUnderdown

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For more on this, read the second section of this article: Picture Book Manuscripts and Illustrations
#4 - November 07, 2015, 05:36 AM
Harold Underdown

The Purple Crayon, a children's book editor's site: http://www.underdown.org/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/HUnderdown

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Thanks, Jody and Harold!  This helps immensely.
#5 - November 07, 2015, 10:29 AM

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HaroldU, thank you for the link. It's a helpful article.
#6 - November 07, 2015, 04:30 PM
Janae

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