[elizabeth-halsall Posts: 25 Status: Offline I love kids' books!]

hi,

I have a line in my PB text that says "dashing fast"
- just wondering if its a grammatical mistake to use both words since both indicate speed?
or is it acceptable?

thanks
Liz

[Schriscoe Posts: 2,759 Status: Offline www.sharonchriscoebooks.com WWW]

I am by far not the grammar expert on here but to me it is just fine. Dashing is your verb and fast is your adverb.  Is that right grammar experts? There are some members on here who are fantastic at grammar so I hope they will chime in.

[JodyJS Posts: 1,410 Status: Offline Preorder now! Out Jan. 7, 2020! WWW]

Hi Liz,

I'd go with just dashing, since, as you suggest, fast implies dashing. Plus, dashing (or dashed) is a more active word.

Good luck!

[christripp Posts: 1,276 Status: Offline WWW]

Another vote for just Dash. It implies speed and movement and I think your instinct is right, you would just be repeating yourself if you used dash and fast together.

[Schriscoe Posts: 2,759 Status: Offline www.sharonchriscoebooks.com WWW]

Quick question. Is there a 'reason' you included both words?

[jeanne k Posts: 77 Status: Offline WWW]

It's grammatically correct but redundant.  Are you writing a rhyming story and you either need to end with "-ast" or you need a single syllable for the meter?

For a picture book, "dashing" (or "dash") is a better word than "fast" in my opinion.

[elizabeth-halsall Posts: 25 Status: Offline I love kids' books!]

Yes it is a rhyming PB. The full line at the moment is "dashing fast comes mummy bear".
So it's not that I need 'fast' to rhyme - but I do need the single syllable for the meter.

Thank you all for responding. This is so helpful !

[lauriew Posts: 172 Status: Online WWW]

You could say "dashing by" to get that extra beat.

[elizabeth-halsall Posts: 25 Status: Offline I love kids' books!]

Thank you so much Laurie

[marla-lesage Posts: 408 Status: Offline Write. Illustrate. Revise.]

dashing in? dashing out? Over dashed my/his/her/dear? You've got lots of ways to write this.

[Lill Posts: 652 Status: Offline]

I agree. Not a grammar issue, but the redundancy weakens your line. You have some good suggestions.

[david-poston Posts: 65 Status: Offline I love kids' books!]

elizabeth

Let me ask you this...what does 'Dashing though the snow' mean to you. Any time you have an question about a word or words,
put it in an sentence and say it out loud. While asking what that means.

It helps me most of the time and I talk to myself all the time. And if people say you are crazy for talking to yourself, just tell them, 'To live in this day and age, it helps'.

[Dionna]

Since to dash means "to run or travel somewhere in a great hurry," it would be redundant to add the word "fast" with it. So dashing in or out or past, as someone suggested, would work better.

Happy writing!

[david-poston Posts: 65 Status: Offline I love kids' books!]

That's what I meant, 'Running or Dashing' is the same and can be use as the same. If you put running in the place of dashing, you get the same thing.

[Schriscoe Posts: 2,759 Status: Offline www.sharonchriscoebooks.com WWW]

I agree. Not a grammar issue, but the redundancy weakens your line. You have some good suggestions.

  Play around with your line and see what you can come up with. I like 'dashing out' esp. since it's a bear dashing and I imagine her dashing out of her cave. Of course, I don't know the book so I could be way off on where she's dashing from.