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Lyrical Language

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I wrote a story where the beats follow in dactyl trimeter and tetrameter. It does not rhyme. The only part where it rhymes is when the crocodile is singing his woes. Have I committed a crime? :help2
#1 - June 29, 2016, 03:36 AM
Wiggle-wiggle, Scratch-Scratch, Itch-Itch-Itch 2014
King of the Jungle 2015
Pink Riding Hood and the Warty stick Monster 2016
Song of the Whippoorwill

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It might give you needed distance/perspective to see if it works if you read the story out loud. An even better idea would be to record yourself reading or ask a friend to read it out loud.
#2 - June 29, 2016, 06:53 AM

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Hi Butterflygirl. Thank you very much!!!
#3 - June 29, 2016, 06:55 AM
Wiggle-wiggle, Scratch-Scratch, Itch-Itch-Itch 2014
King of the Jungle 2015
Pink Riding Hood and the Warty stick Monster 2016
Song of the Whippoorwill

I'm in a similar situation. It does make you feel like you're committing a crime.

If you like, I'd love to read for you. PM if interested.
#4 - June 29, 2016, 07:56 AM
Imagination is more important than knowledge. Einstein.

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Verse doesn't have to rhyme. Plenty of picture books have rhyming refrains. (Darned if I can think of one now, but someone will come by and post one or two.) Oh, Franklin in the Dark (the first Franklin book) might have a refrain, but I can't recall if it rhymes. Lyrical language is not a bad thing unless you are so caught up in how pretty you sound that you're losing track of telling the story.

JoJo, this isn't an issue you have. Ask your librarian for books with rhyming refrains that aren't all in rhyme in case no one does as I say.
#5 - July 03, 2016, 08:59 PM

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Thank you very much, Debbie!
#6 - July 04, 2016, 03:16 AM
Wiggle-wiggle, Scratch-Scratch, Itch-Itch-Itch 2014
King of the Jungle 2015
Pink Riding Hood and the Warty stick Monster 2016
Song of the Whippoorwill

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